'Getaway' Movie Review: The Studio System Hits New Low With Worst Movie of 2013

Reviewing a film like "Getaway" is a complicated affair for a number of reasons. On one hand, the film could be seen as a self-parody. Afterall with main characters as generically named as "The Kid," "The Voice" and, most creative of all, "Man," first-time screenwriters Gregg Maxwell Parker and Sean Finegan may actually be pointing to the fact that their creations are little more than plot devices and as a result deserve little effort to actually get real names. On the other hand, that interpretation may simply be too generous all together and the film really has no redeeming qualities. What is so complicated about writing a review about such a final product? The fact that the actual experience of watching the film was so painful and stupefying.

Ethan Hawke plays Brent Magna, a former racecar driver that finds out that his wife has been kidnapped on Christmas day. He gets a phone call from "The Voice" (Jon Voigt) and is told to rob a "special" car, which is really a Shelby Mustang that is loaded with cameras to monitor Brent's progress (the film won't let you forget the "Shelby" for its duration). So he pulls off the robbery and gets off and running to follow "The Voice's" (see how stupid it already sounds just repeating "The Voice"?) instructions to save his wife. Eventually, "The Kid," played by Selena Gomez, tries to steal the car from Brent at gunpoint. He winds up outmuscling her and "The Voice" imposes his desire that Brent keep the kid along for the ride.

From there the film follows a pretty basic formula: car chase followed by expository dialogue followed by another frenetic chase by generic cops followed by another expository dialogue ad nauseum. The action sequences are all shot in frenetic mold with extremely quick cutting and a plethora of extreme close-ups that not only make most of the sequences unwatchable (as in "What the hell is going on?" unwatchable) but also leave the viewer with a bulging headache and potential nausea by the end. Just take the opening sequence for example. Brent is being chased by a few cop cars. The editing cuts to every angle humanly possible in milliseconds and yet the viewer cannot always register exactly which car is in front or behind Brent and how they are situated on the road. Instead of the viewer being interested in the potential hazards of the road, the only real information that he or she has any real chance at discerning is how many times the Shelby logo crops up throughout (I would probably number it in the 30s to 40s and that might be an underestimation).  Dialogue scenes are also shot in equally frenetic style that often makes it difficult to actually concentrate on the expository lines being delivered by the main characters. Every other sequence that takes place there after follows a similar editing mold. It is only made worse by the fact that there is no variation to speak of. Just as the plot formula is car chase- boring conversation- car chase- boring conversation - etc., the action sequences always feature Brent running away from cop cars. Later in the story, the screenwriters figured that adding motorcycle-riding hired guns and explosions would add variety; they don't.  Eventually Brent actually does some chasing, but by that point... we just want the movie to end.

So the action is a mess throughout. But the plot is by far the worst crime of this film. Let's talk logistics. Brent escapes from some cops to the top of the city where he is presumably safe. He talks to "The Voice," throws his phone away, gets back into the car, and... drives back into town! WHY?! There was no instruction from "The Voice" that he had to do that, so why would he go back into the city knowing full well that his license plate number is on every police officer's mind? I can think of at least one more occasion where the characters should stay put but instead decide to drive back into traffic and risk the chance of getting caught. How about this one for logic? The car backs away into a dark alleyway or garage. A bunch of cops scan the area with FLASHLIGHTS and they somehow fail to notice the vehicle they were just chasing parked right there in their line of sight. Brent tells "The Kid" something along the lines of, "I can't believe that worked." Neither will anyone except for the illusive minds of the filmmakers.

More importantly however is the fact that none of the characters are anything more than cardboard creations. I was not kidding in the intro when I said that characters were referred to as "Man" or "The Voice" in the credits. "The Kid" serves no purpose aside from whining and conveniently knowing how to use technology that will get the two characters out of jams later on. And she tells Brent that she "hates him." Multiple times as if it was really important. But why would she risk her life for Brent? Out of sympathy for his wife's life? It's never clarified and it ultimately never makes sense considering the danger she is in and the fact that there is really nothing in it for her in the end. The viewer knows little about who she is to even care about her existence in the story, making her presence all the more annoying during the pathetic banter between the two protagonists.

Brent wants to save his wife's life, so I guess that is valid. As for "The Voice's" motifs? That is possibly the greatest crime committed in the film because they make absolutely NO SENSE whatsoever. The film's biggest hook is not whether Brent will save his wife's life (this is Hollywood so saving her life is a foregone conclusion). The hook is finding out the why of the actions. Why did the kidnapping take place? Brent doesn't know and neither do we. That is the only conceivable reason that the viewer remains in his or her seat for the duration of this mess; to find out the reason why they even paid to watch Ethan Hawke and Selena Gomez in a car together for an hour and half. And when the cards are finally laid out, they find out that they have been cheated and there was never anything there at all. That my friends, is highway robbery (pun intended). The only thing that the viewer takes away from the big "twist?" A sequel could be coming if the film manages to cash in at the box office.

There really isn't much to say here about acting. Ethan Hawke grumbles and mumbles a whole lot in monotone while Selena Gomez whines, smirks, and tries to create every facial expression to portray her anger. The former Disney star really does little in this film to show that she is ready to be taken seriously on the silver screen.

Notice that director Courtney Solomon has not been referenced once thus far. It is hard to even say that this film had a director because it lacks direction and feels stagnant from the opening frame to its last moment. It is just a pre-determined formula being rehashed without variation throughout its running time.

Many have started to prophesize the fall of the studio system including George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Some believe that the reasons for this downfall have a lot to do with the poor content being put out by said studios year after year. One would think that intelligent businessmen would look to improve their product in order to avoid said omens and keep audiences' trust, but alas that adjective "intelligent" may be too generous for the aforementioned businessmen. "Getaway" provides perfect support for these omens as it represents one of the worst films of the last decade and easily the worst of 2013. "Stay Away" would probably be a more fitting title for this debacle.